A Prayer

I beg of You, take my life. 
Spare me the pain, 
The emptiness, and loneliness
Of the darkness 
That hovers over me 
Like a great, heavy veil.
Dark and endless, a black hole 
I can't seem to 
Push away from my eyes. 

It's hard,
Trying to see the light 
When it seems 
As if there's no light to see. 
It's hard,
Trying to follow it, 
To walk in it, 
When it seems as if 
The light has deserted me. 
It's hard to believe
That You will never forsake me,
Even when words are written 
That say otherwise. 
It's hard to believe, too, 
That I'm able to reach out, 
Still, 
And have my hand taken 
By the Most Powerful, The Almighty.
To be forgiven 
For whatever it is that ails me, 
For every wrong word, 
Every lie, 
Every thought, 
Every cruel, unspoken word. 
It's hard to believe
His love is still there watching over me,
That He is still there Himself, 
Ready to take me in His arms
Just at the mention of His very name, 
Upon hearing my cry out to Him. 
It's hard to find the right words
To explain 
This anguish
This unknowing, 
This doubt.

Please, I beg of you, take my life. 
Take it from me and make it Your own,
Just as it should be. 
Make me the child You envisioned me to be.
I beg You, take it.
Make it not my own, make it Yours,
Give me the Faith,
The Trust, 
The Confidence
That I need to walk with You,
To sit in Your enfolded wings like a child
In her Father's arms,
To see Your face, hear Your voice, 
Know You are with me. 
I'm crying out for Your arms to enfold me, 
Oh God. 
Take away this pain, 
This emptiness, and loneliness I feel,
Chase away the darkness with Your Holy light.
Place a confidence in me that says 
You are always with me, 
Help me not to doubt.
Take my life and make it Your own, 
And spare me this Hell I live in without You.